The Balanced Athlete Car Convos; About Purpose, Balance and Play!

What is Ikigai with Nicholas Kemp - Part 1

This is part one of a two-part episode.
Today’s guest is Nicholas Kemp—an author, podcaster, coach and lifelong student of ikigai who’s challenging one of the most common misunderstandings of the concept.
Nick’s work exists to gently—but clearly—push back on the idea that Ikigai is a neat intersection of what you love, what you’re good at, what you can get paid for and what the world needs. That framework may be familiar in Western culture, but it isn’t the heart of Ikigai.
For Nick, ikigai is something far more personal, lived and human. It isn’t dependent on a career, productivity or monetizing passion—though it can include those things. At its core, Ikigai is about what gives life meaning now: the small moments, the daily practices, the relationships, the movement, the struggle, the joy and the quiet reasons we choose to keep going.
In this conversation, Nick shares his own journey into ikigai—how curiosity, challenge and lived experience led him to explore purpose beyond achievement, and why simplifying ikigai into a formula can actually move us further away from it.
This episode is an invitation to step away from chasing purpose and instead listen more closely to the life you’re already living.
LinkedIn
Ikigai Tribe
A Year of Ikigai
 

Setting the Summer Tempo - The Season Between Seasons

The Season Between Seasons: What This Year Taught Us & How to Prep for What’s Next:
We’re closing out another year of school and club ball, and before we rush into tryouts, swim team, and summer schedules, I want to pause with you. What did this year really teach your athlete — and how do we help them carry the right things forward?
 
This episode is the bridge between reflection and preparation — a grounded, encouraging conversation about the transition from the end of school + club season into the summer window of tryouts, swim team, and gearing up for next school year.
 
 The “In‑Between” Season
This is the season – the space between- where athletes recharge and burnout prevention kicks in.
 
School is wrapping up.
Club ball is winding down.
Swim team is starting.
Tryouts are on the horizon.
Everyone feels the mix of excitement, fatigue and pressure.
Lessons Learned from This Year (Club + School Ball, School Swim Team)
What surprised me this year –
The amount of energy parents and athletes give to the drama. The gossip, the pressuring noise that goes on behind the scenes from parents and the coaches and the athletes. The lengths that some parents will go to, to make sure their kids get play time.
The environment that coaches have to put up with, not necessarily from their athletes but from the parents of their athletes.
I was impressed how deliberate my kid was during competition. What sometimes appeared to be just a kid out on the court playing the game, has been her taking in the information, learning and developing a court IQ that was more in depth than I was giving her credit for until we started talking about short term goals before each game.
What athletes struggled with most
Navigating hard conversations with their coaches
Pressure from parents to perform perfectly and get play time
Being okay with failure and using it as a starting place/way to learn.
What helped them thrive
Incorporating play, no pressure playtime that is another sport, games with the family or friend time.
Making sure that they have other hobbies, interests and are not defined by their sport or the title of athlete.
Giving them autonomy and space to figure things out for themselves.
Trusting when the coach asks them to step out of their comfort zone to try something new and hard.
What I’ve learned about supporting my athlete
Sports and teen athletes would be better off if parents would back off and let their kids play their sport, navigate the ups and downs on their own as long as there isn’t anything abusive going on and be allowed to keep the purity of the sport and fun.
Don’t chirp from the stands. Yell encouragements not coaching and keep in mind that the score keepers in club volleyball and maybe other club sports are kids! Factor in mess-ups from the score table and keep your composure, be a model for your athlete. Your behavior effects them and their future in sports (coaches/scouts are watching).Your kids might tune you out when you yell things for them to fix but they notice your behavior.
Taking the fun out of sports burns them out faster than anything else. If you want your kids to love their sport and thrive in their sport past the age of 13, find ways to not be a fun sucker. Let them play!
Let the athlete initiate the car conversation after their games.
 
 The Reset: How to Close Out the Year Well
A simple reflection ritual for parents + athletes between the seasons (summer).
This ritual isn’t about fixing, evaluating, or strategizing. It’s about honoring what was, clearing space, and letting summer be a reset — not another grind.
 
🌿 The “Pause, Pull Forward, Release” Ritual
A 20‑minute end‑of‑year reset for parents & athletes
This ritual honors the idea that this moment is a bridge between reflection and preparation, not a rushing point into the next thing.
Step 1: Pause (5 minutes
Purpose: Create emotional space before evaluating anything.
Sit together somewhere neutral (kitchen table, living room, outside).
No phones, no coaching talk, no fixing.
Parent opens with a grounding line:“Before we talk about what’s next, I want to hear about what this season was like for you.”
Guiding questions (athlete answers, parent listens):
What felt heavy this year?
What felt surprisingly good?
When did you feel most like yourself while playing?
Parent’s role: Listen without correcting or reframing. This models the calm, steady presence that is central to this transition season.
Step 2: Pull Forward (7–10 minutes)
Purpose: Identify growth without tying it to stats or playing time.
Each person answers these out loud:
Athlete:
One thing I’m proud of from this year (not necessarily performance‑based)
One skill or strength I didn’t know I had
One moment that helped me grow, even if it was uncomfortable
 
Parent:
One thing I noticed you handling with more maturity
One way I saw you stay engaged or work through something hard
One thing I admire about how you showed up this year
This connects the dots between engagement and meaning beyond outcomes.
Step 3: Release (5 minutes)
Purpose: Prevent carrying emotional clutter into summer.
Ask together:
What am I ready to let go of from this season?
(Examples: mistakes, roles, drama, pressure, comparisons)
Make it concrete:
Write each “let go” on a small piece of paper.
Tear it up or throw it away.
 
Parent reinforces:
“This doesn’t erase the lesson — it just means we’re not dragging it into summer.”
This mirrors your emphasis on letting go intentionally rather than rushing ahead in panic.
 
Step 4: Name the Summer Intention (2–3 minutes)
Purpose: Set direction without pressure.
Each person fills in this sentence:
“This summer, I want my relationship with my sport to feel like ___.”
Examples:
Lighter
Curious
Strong
Fun again
Confident
Balanced
No goals yet. No timelines. Just tone.
 
Step 5. Three things to consider for this summer…
How can you decompress physically and mentally
What to let go of from the season
What to carry forward
 
Your athlete doesn’t need perfection this summer — they need presence, purpose, and a plan that honors who they are becoming.
 
 

Beyond the Jersey: Developing Athletes (and Humans) with Melia Kane

Today’s guest is Melia Kane—known to many as “Coach Kane”—a local volleyball coach recognized for developing athletes on and off the court. With a coaching style rooted in fundamentals, confidence, and personal accountability, Melia helps players elevate their performance while also building the life skills that last far beyond the season. Parents and athletes alike appreciate her steady leadership and the way she emphasizes character, resilience, and team-first habits. This past club season, she coached my daughter and made a lasting impact—not just by helping the girls become better volleyball players, but by challenging them to become great humans.
 
Purpose
How can athletes discover identity beyond volleyball?
How do you as a coach and an academic advisor help people align their passion, skill and contribution?
What do you say to an athlete who feels lost when volleyball isn’t going well?
Balance
Time management – This is a huge skill for young adults to learn to be successful in the future. What are your thoughts on this topic and what do you think the difference and connection is between time management and energy management is? Any golden nuggets you can share?
What are some burnout signals that you have seen in student athletes?
What do you think is a healthy way to do things versus “doing it all perfectly”
What do you think is one thing high school athletes misunderstand about college balance?
 
Play
Why does play matter for performance?
 
Positive Emotion
How do you help athletes bounce back emotionally after tough performances?
 
Academics
How have you helped athletes/students choose their major?
 
Personal
Are there any other little golden nuggets that you would like to leave our listeners with that we didn’t talk about today?
Volleyball with Coach Melia
 

Building a Life That Feels Good - Finding Your Sweet Spot - Jessie Brodmerkel

Week 4
Building a Life That Feels Good
 What if life wasn’t just about winning but about wanting to keep going?
Fous: Integration
Core Idea: Success isn’t just performance-it’s sustainability.
Talking Points:
Creating your own version of ikigai- instead of thinking about it as a destination, think about it as a daily alignment practice.
Your version of Ikigai isn’t one big answer – it’s built through small, consistent choices.
What gives you energy vs. drains you?
When do you feel most like yourself?
What moments make you lose track of time?
For athletes, this might look like:
Loving competition and loving being a great teammate
Valuing growth and enjoying the process
Caring about performance and relationships
It’s less about finding “the one thing” and more about stacking meaningful moments that create a life that feels good to live.
Simple weekly rhythm:
Compete – This is your edge. Practice, games, lifting, pushing limits. It’s where growth and discomfort live. But competition isn’t just physical- it’s showing up with focus and intention.
Connect – Relationships are often the first thing sacrificed, but they’re the glue. Teammates, family coaches, friends – connection builds resilience and perspective.
Recover – Not just physical recovery – mental and emotional too. Sleep, downtime, reflection, even boredom. Without this, burnout isn’t a risk – it’s a guarantee.
Play – The most underrated pillar. Unstructured, fun no-pressure movement or activity. This is where joy lives – and ironically, it often improves performance the most. The goal isn’t to be perfectly balance every day- it’s making sure your week reflects all four.
Most athletes accidentally live in only one or two of these. Balance comes from intentionally hitting all four.
Identity beyond sport:
One of the biggest traps athletes fall into is identity foreclosure – when “athlete” becomes the only way they see themselves. When sport is your only identity:
Injuries feel like identity loss
Performance dictates self-worth
Transition (graduation, retirement) becomes overwhelming
So the question becomes: Who are you when you’re not playing your sport?
Interests outside of sport (music, art, school subjects, hobbies)
Roles you play (friend, sibling, leader, student)
Values you hold (kindness, curiosity, discipline, humor)
This doesn’t weaken performance – it strengthens it. Athletes with broader identities:
Handle pressure better
Bounce back faster
Enjoy sport more
Because their whole self isn’t on the line every time they compete.
Long-term athlete development (and life development) Model emphasizes building athletes over time:
Fundamentals before specialization
Skill development before outcome-obsession
Health and longevity over early success
Confidence > trophies
Character> Stats
Consistency > intensity
Questions to ask:
Will this help them love the sport in 5 years?
Are we developing decision makers or just performers?
Are we building a human…or just an athlete?
Because the goal isn’t just better athletes – it’s better people who happen to be athletes.
 
Action Step: Build a Balanced Week Blueprint: This isn’t rigid – it’s a framework you can adapt.
 
Example:
Monday
Compete: Practice/training
Connect: Team check-in, dinner with family
Tuesday
Compete: Strength + Skill work
Recover: Stretch, Early bedtime
Wednesday
Play: Pickup game, different sport for fun movement or spend time outside
Connect: Hang out with friends
Thursday
Compete: High-Intensity practice
Recover: Light mobility, journaling
Friday
Compete: Game Day
Connect: Team Bonding after game
Saturday
Recover: Sleep in, light movement (walk or yoga)
Play: Something fun, no pressure
Sunday
Recover: Reset, reflect, plan
Connect: Family Time
Light Play: Something creative or relaxing
This is what building a life that feels good looks like in practice. Not perfect, not optimized to the minute, but intentional, balanced and sustainable.
Linktree

When Balance Feels Impossible - Finding the Sweet Spot /Jessie Brodmerkel

https://linktr.ee/jessiebrodmerkel
Week 3: When Balance Feels Impossible
If your athlete is always tired, moody, or checked out… this could be why.
Focus: Obstacles
Core Idea: Burnout doesn’t come from doing too much—it comes from doing too much of what drains you.
*Check out the episode with Paul Gamble PHD, Parents are Key! His research, book and work speaks more in depth on much of what I talk about in today’s episode.
Signs of Burnout in Teen Athletes
Burnout is not just physical fatigue. Research defines athlete burnout as a combination of emotional exhaustion, reduced sense of accomplishment, and sport devaluation—when athletes stop caring about something they once loved. [apa.org]
Common signs parents and coaches notice first:
Persistent fatigue that doesn’t improve with rest
Increased irritability, mood swings, or emotional shutdown
Loss of motivation or enthusiasm toward practice and competition
Drop in performance despite continued or increased effort
Frequent minor illnesses, injuries, or sleep disturbances
Studies published in Pediatrics and the American Psychological Association show burnout is one of the primary drivers of early sport dropout and can precede depressive symptoms if left unaddressed. Unfortunately, although over 60 million children and adolescents currently participate in organized sports, attrition rates remain staggeringly high, with 70% of youth athletes choosing to discontinue participation in organized sports by 13 years of age.1  Discontinuation of sports during childhood plays a role in the more than 75% of adolescents in the United States who fail to meet physical activity recommendations.2 
Injury and burnout have been suggested as two of the primary causes for attrition from sports.3 
 [publications.aap.org], [apa.org]
Key reframe for parents:When an athlete looks “lazy” or unmotivated, it’s often nervous system overload, not a lack of discipline.
Overtraining vs. Under‑Recovery
Most families assume burnout means too much training. In reality, the problem is usually insufficient recovery for the total load placed on the athlete.
The American Academy of Pediatrics defines overtraining as a state where training demands consistently exceed the body’s ability to recover, leading to performance decline, hormonal disruption, and mental exhaustion. [publications.aap.org]
Important distinction:
Overtraining = excessive physical workload –
Another critical issue in youth sports is early specialization. Defined as intensive, year-round training in a single sport (typically over 8 months per year) while excluding participation in other sports [16], early specialization has become increasingly prevalent. Research indicates that this practice may elevate the risk of overuse injuries and psychological burnout, while potentially hindering long-term athletic success [8]. Iona et al. [17] reported that 17% and 41% of youth athletes are involved in early specialization, often driven by external pressures from coaches, parents, and competitive frameworks.
While early specialization may result in early athletic proficiency and success in junior competitions, it may paradoxically be detrimental in the long run. A meta-analysis by Güllich and Barth [18] found that although participation in talent development programs correlates positively with performance at the junior level, it correlates negatively with success at the senior level. These findings underscore the importance of a diversified athletic experience during childhood as a foundation for sustained performance and physical health.
 
Under‑recovery = inadequate sleep, poor nutrition, chronic stress, and no mental downtime
Research shows that young athletes often experience under‑recovery not just from sport, but from academic pressure, social stress, and packed schedules—even when training volume seems reasonable. [pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov]
What this means practically:Rest days alone don’t fix burnout if the athlete is still emotionally and cognitively overloaded.
 
External Pressure: Parents, Coaches & Social Media
Burnout risk skyrockets when external expectations replace intrinsic motivation.
Research and youth sport organizations consistently identify these pressure sources:
Outcome‑focused coaching (results over development)
Parental anxiety about playing time, exposure, or scholarships
Constant comparison driven by social media and highlight culture
Articles from Positive Coaching Alliance and SafeAthlete show that perceived pressure, not actual encouragement, is strongly linked to anxiety, loss of enjoyment, and burnout in youth sports. [positivecoach.org], [safeathlete.org]
Social media adds a new layer: athletes feel they are performing for an audience, not learning a skill. Constant comparison erodes autonomy and joy, two essential buffers against burnout. [news.spreely.com]
Talking point for parents:Support isn’t about pushing harder—it’s about reducing unnecessary noise so athletes can reconnect with why they play.
Challenge for parents: It’s disconcerting for athletes to have parents/caregivers yell out instructions. Athletes may struggle to decipher what to do when they get instructions from the stands and from their coaches – especially if they are conflicting. Being mindful of what you are yelling to your athlete can help them better focus on the game and the strategy that the coach employs. [org/resource-zone/no-directions-cheering/]
No Directions Cheering. https://positivecoach.org/resource-zone/no-directions-cheering/
Losing Identity Outside of Sport
One of the most damaging—and overlooked—factors in burnout is identity foreclosure: when a young athlete’s sense of worth becomes tied almost entirely to being “the athlete.”
Research in Frontiers in Psychology shows that early specialization and intense year‑round participation increase the likelihood of a narrow athletic identity, making setbacks feel catastrophic. [pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov]
When sport becomes the only identity:
Injuries feel like personal failures
Benchings feel like rejection
Burnout accelerates because there’s no emotional outlet elsewhere
Research consistently links strong, exclusive athletic identity with higher stress, anxiety, and difficulty coping during transitions (injury, team changes, or season endings). [taylorfrancis.com], [frontiersin.org]
Key message:Developing interests and roles outside of sport doesn’t take away from performance—it protects it.
Life Buckets Check: A Simple Awareness Tool
sport, school, social, rest, spiritual
Prompt: Which bucket feels overfilled right now? Which one is nearly empty?
That answer often explains why balance feels impossible.
Big Takeaway for Week 3
Burnout is not a failure of toughness or work ethic.It’s a signal—that something essential is being drained faster than it’s being restored.
When we shift the focus from doing more to recovering better and living fuller, balance becomes possible again.
When Balance Feels Impossible
A Parent Reflection Worksheet
Designed to help parents recognize burnout early and support their athlete without adding pressure.
Start Here (A Quick Reframe)
If your athlete seems:
Constantly exhausted
Moodier than usual
Less excited about sport
Or emotionally checked out
This does not mean they’ve lost discipline, motivation, or grit.
Often, it means their system is overloaded—not weak.
Burnout Awareness Check
Circle any statements that have shown up more often than not in the past few weeks:
☐ My athlete is tired even after normal rest☐ They seem irritable, withdrawn, or emotionally flat☐ Practices or games feel heavier—not exciting☐ Small setbacks feel overwhelming☐ They’re getting sick or injured more frequently☐ They talk about quitting, not caring, or “being done”
Reflection:Which of these surprises you the most?

 
 
Overtraining or Under‑Recovery?
Burnout doesn’t always come from “too much training.”It often comes from too little recovery from everything else.
Consider your athlete’s full load:
Area
Low
Moderate
Heavy
Physical training
☐
☐
☐
School pressure
☐
☐
☐
Social stress
☐
☐
☐
Expectations (internal or external)
☐
☐
☐
Sleep quality
☐
☐
☐
Reflection:Which area feels heaviest right now?

Pressure Check (Without Blame)
Pressure doesn’t have to be negative to still be draining.
Ask yourself honestly:
Do conversations after games focus more on results or effort?
Does my athlete feel watched, evaluated, or compared?
Are scholarships, rankings, or exposure talked about often?
Does social media play a role in how they see themselves?
Reflection:Where might pressure be coming from—even unintentionally?

 
Identity Beyond the Jersey
Healthy athletes have more than one place they belong.
Answer yes or no:
Can my athlete name something they enjoy outside of sport?
Do they feel valued even when they don’t perform well?
Do we celebrate who they are—not just how they play?
☐ Yes   ☐ Sometimes   ☐ Not really
Reflection:If sport disappeared tomorrow, what parts of my child would remain strong?

The Life Buckets Check
Burnout often appears when one bucket overflows and the others run dry.
Fill in how “full” each bucket feels right now:
Sport:☐ Empty ☐ Balanced ☐ Overflowing
School:☐ Empty ☐ Balanced ☐ Overflowing
Social / Connection:☐ Empty ☐ Balanced ☐ Overflowing
Rest & Recovery:☐ Empty ☐ Balanced ☐ Overflowing
Key Insight:Which bucket needs attention first to restore balance?

One Small Shift (This Week Only) Kaizen Moment
You don’t need a big fix—just a small one.
Choose one:
 ☐ Add intentional rest (earlier bedtime, no‑agenda evening)☐ Reduce evaluative talk (less feedback, more presence)☐ Create space for play (unstructured, no coaching)☐ Reconnect beyond sport (shared time, no performance talk)
What will this look like in practice?

Final Reminder for Parents
Burnout is not a parenting failure.It’s a signal, not a verdict.
When adults slow down, lower the noise, and widen identity—young athletes don’t just recover…
They remember why they love playing

The Power of Play - Finding the Sweet Spot - Jessie Brodmerkel

Episode 2 of Finding Your Sweet Spot Series
The Power of Play (Yes Even for Athletes)
The best athletes aren’t just disciplined-they know how to play.
Focus: Application
Core Idea: Play is not a distraction from performance it fuels it.
What is play? The Oxford dictionary says: engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.
The National Institute for Play defines play not as an activity, but as a state of mind.
Play is essential for a fulfilling life because it fosters joy, creativity, stress reduction, and social connection, acting as a "carefree" form of ikigai. Within the ikigai framework, play enables intrinsic motivation, allowing individuals to engage in activities for the sheer pleasure of it, leading to self-actualization and vibrant, meaningful daily life, often termed asobigai.
Talking Points:
How play improves creativity, resilience and performance –
Importance of Play in Life
Mental & Physical Well-being: Play reduces stress and increases life satisfaction by allowing for spontaneity and relaxation.
Creativity & Learning: It enhances curiosity and cognitive development, helping teens and adults "re-wire" their brains for better problem-solving.
Social Connection: It strengthens relationships and fosters empathy, which is crucial for emotional health.
Flow State: Play encourages immersion in the present moment, similar to the "flow" described by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (muh·haylee chik·sent·mee·hai·ee), where one loses track of time and experiences peak enjoyment.
Peter Gray https://substack.com/@petergray a Boston Colleague Research Professor who specializes in the nature and value of play says that play has four characteristics https://petergray.substack.com/p/2-what-exactly-is-this-thing-we-call
Play is self-chosen and self-directed- it is always voluntary.
Play is intrinsically motivated (internal not external) means are more valued than the ends. Play is activity that, from the conscious perspective of the player, is done for its own sake more than for some reward outside of itself. When people are notplaying, what they value most are the results of their actions.
Play is guided by mental rules: Play is freely chosen activity, but not freeform activity, not random. Play always has structure, and that structure derives from rules in the player’s mind. If it is social it allows the opportunity for players to abide by socially agreed upon rules - an ability that is essential to life in any human society. Russian psychologist Lev Vygotsky (vai·gaatskee) (1933/1978) emphasized most strongly in an essay about the roles of play in children’s development. He argued that play is the primary means by which children learn this concept.
Play is aways creative and imaginative: The rules of play provide boundaries within which the actions must occur, but they do not precisely dictate the actions. The rules always leave plenty of room for creativity. It is the primary means by which all of us exercise our capacity for creativity. Most play is not only creative, but also imaginative. 
 
Why structured athletes lose their spark
When every session is evaluated, timed, or corrected, athletes stop exploring and the brain shifts from curiosity to self-protection, which quietly kills the “spark.”
Tying play back to Ikigai (what you love)
Asobigai (Value of Play): Play is part of ikigai-kan (the feeling of having a purpose). As a "carefree" ikigai, it provides a simple, accessible way to find joy and vibrancy in life.
Intrinsic Motivation: Play aligns with doing what you love (the "Passion" intersection of ikigai), where the process itself brings satisfaction rather than the end result.
Lifelong Growth: It is a transformative process, allowing individuals to recreate themselves through "playful" exploration of hobbies and leisure.
"Flow" and Immersion: Play allows for deep engagement, or chanto suru, doing something thoroughly and finding meaning in the process, which is essential to the Japanese perspective of ikigai.
 
Play, through the lens of ikigai, is often described as something carefree not something that feels burdensome. Nicholas Kemp (Ikigai Tribe; A Year of Ikigai) frames play as an essential part of a meaningful life, not an optional extra. The National Institute for Play also argues that incorporating play into your day is not only possible, but necessary for wellbeing and they define play not as an activity, but as a state of mind.
Ask someone to define play, and most will name an activity playing basketball, playing catch, or even gin rummy. But play isn’t actually an activity. It’s an experience that feels pleasurable a state of being. Dr. Stuart Brown says that when you’re truly playing, you’re in a state of play.
And because we’re each unique individuals, the experiences and activities that put us in a play state will look different for each of us.
As evolutionary psychologist Peter Gray writes in Free to Learn: Two people could engage in the same activity say throwing a ball or building something yet one might be playing while the other is not. To distinguish between them, we have to observe their expressions and behaviors in other words, their state of being.
Play is engaging, we don’t lose interest when we are in a state of play in fact it is usually a place where we find flow or lose track of time.
Source: National Institute for Play, What Is Play, Anyway?  (nifplay.org), Nicholas Kemp Ikigai Tribe;” A Year of Ikigai”, Peter Gray - in “Free to Learn”
Play - freely choose and enjoy, for its own sake.
I heard someone talk about life’s journey like dancing which could be considered a form of play to some people but not to others. If you enjoy dancing, then you are not dancing to reach the end of the song or a final destination- you are dancing for the pure joy of the act itself. It can be a very carefree experience.
 
Action Step: Add one No-pressure play session this week.
 
 

Finding the Sweet Spot Episode 1/4 - Ikigai

Find Your Sweet Spot (Series)
Over the next four weeks, we’re breaking down how athletes can find their sweet spot-where performance, purpose and actually enjoying the process all come together.
 
Week 1
You Don’t Need to Have it All Figured Out
 What if the pressure to figure it all out is actually what’s holding you back?
Focus: Awareness
Core Idea: Purpose isn’t one thing-it’s something you build.
The Japanese ikigai scholar is Mieko Kamiya. The author of Ikigai ni Tsuite
Commonly translated in English as On the Meaning of Life published in 1966. She is widely regarded as the founder of ikigai psychology, and her work is very different from the popular Western “ikigai Venn diagram.”
The core insight Mieko Kamiya would give a teen athlete
“Your worth is not tied to winning, titles, or future success.”
Kamiya studied ikigai through people living with extreme limitations and suffering (including patients with chronic illness), and her central finding was this:
Ikigai is the feeling that life is worth living—right now—not a goal you earn later.
For a teen athlete, this completely reframes pressure, performance, and identity.
Ikigai is found in daily life, not a single “big purpose”
Kamiya emphasized that ikigai is not about finding one grand calling or mapping out your entire future. Instead, it comes from small, meaningful moments that make life feel alive. [ikigaitribe.com]
What she might say to a teen athlete:
“Your ikigai might be the feeling after practice when you’re tired but proud.”
“It could be laughing with teammates, learning a new skill, or helping someone else improve.”
“You don’t need to know what you’ll become—you need to notice what gives today meaning.”
👉 This directly counters the pressure teens feel to figure it all out early.
Suffering and setbacks do NOT mean you’ve lost your ikigai
A huge part of Kamiya’s work showed that meaning can exist even during pain, injury, or failure. Ikigai doesn’t disappear when circumstances change—it often deepens. [jstage.jst.go.jp]
For an injured, benched, or burned-out athlete, she’d say:
“Your life still has value, even when sport is hard.”
“Ikigai isn’t proof that life is easy—it’s proof that life is still worth engaging with.”
This is powerful for athletes navigating:
Injuries
Being cut from a team
Loss of confidence
Identity crisis when sport doesn’t go as planned
Ikigai is NOT about money, scholarships, or productivity
Kamiya explicitly did not define ikigai through career success or income. She warned against tying meaning to external rewards, something the Westernized ikigai diagram often gets wrong. [finde-zukunft.de]
For teen athletes, that means:
A scholarship is not your ikigai.
Playing at the next level is not your ikigai.
Your value doesn’t increase as competition increases.
👉 Sport can support ikigai—but it should never be the only source of it.
 
Talking Points:
Purpose isn’t something you find once and you’re done… it’s something you build over time.
Why teens feel pressure to pick their path- you’re not supposed to have this all figured out as a teen athlete.
Exploring different things isn’t falling behind-it’s actually how you move forward.
Research is showing that the athletes who last the longest and perform the best aren’t the ones who rushed to specialize… they’re the ones who stayed curious.
The western form of Ikigai was turned into the Venn Diagram which actually contradict the Ikigai that Mieko Kamiya researched and wrote about. We have been breaking down ikigai into relatable pieces to help give a starting point and direction
What you love
What you’re good at – or getting better at
What feels meaningful to you?
What energizes you?
But focusing on monetization and career doesn’t reflect the Mieko’s ikigai.
The myth of early specialization:
 
Growth matters more than outcomes
Kamiya identified change and growth as a core human need connected to ikigai. Feeling alive comes from learning, developing, and moving forward—not from perfection. [saltnpepper.sg]
What she’d emphasize in sports:
Progress > trophies
Curiosity > specialization
Effort > comparison
This aligns beautifully with:
Multi-sport participation
Play
Long-term athlete development
Connection is essential to ikigai
Another key insight from Kamiya’s research is that resonance with others—feeling connected and seen—deeply supports meaning in life. [saltnpepper.sg]
For teen athletes:
Ikigai grows in healthy relationships with teammates, coaches, parents, and friends.
When sport becomes isolating or transactional, ikigai fades.
Belonging matters as much as performance.
This is a powerful lens for parents listening to your podcast.
If you summed up Kamiya’s message to a teen athlete in one sentence:
“You don’t need to earn your right to feel fulfilled—your ikigai is already present in how you live, grow, connect, and engage with life today.”
How this fits beautifully into The Balanced Athlete message
Mieko Kamiya’s philosophy naturally supports:
✅ Purpose without pressure
✅ Balance without burnout
✅ Play without guilt
✅ Identity beyond sport
 
Action Steps: Energy Audit – What gives you energy vs drains it? This week pay attention to one thing: what gives you energy-and what drains it.
There is where your version of purpose starts.
“When we wake up from sleep, we are greeted by the morning. We did not create the morning; it somehow came to give us the chance to live another day. We wake up and discover the morning. The meaning of life is like the morning. “
— Mieko Kamiya

One Lung but Plenty of Hope Part 2 - Greg Gerardy

Daily Oklahoman
KFOR 2Wra024
Survivor.net
Cancer Survivor with 1 Lung Runs His 5th Marathon
7 on 7 in 7 The Great World Race
Unbreakable Hope 1
Unbreakable Hope 2  
Unbreakable Hope 3
The Great World Race
Facebook
Instagram
Chan Hellman Hope Centered
Today’s guest is someone who embodies grit, resilience, and the absolute refusal to accept limitations. Greg Gerardy is a cancer survivor, a father, and an endurance athlete who has accomplished what most people with two lungs will never attempt. After losing the function of his right lung to a rare, aggressive tumor that wrapped around his spine and shoulder, doctors told Greg he only had a few years to live and would lose the use of his limbs. But he proved them wrong—again and again.
Greg has climbed Mnt. Kilimanjaro, completed multiple marathons, including the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon, and even became one of only two people ever to finish an Ironman Triathlon with one functional lung. He has literally died on the table and was brought back to life. His story has been featured across Oklahoma media as he continues to push boundaries, most recently finishing the Great World Race with his friend Sean another 1 lunger – this race is a challenge: seven marathons, in seven days, on seven continents. 
Beyond the races, Greg shares his journey to inspire others who feel stuck, discouraged, or written off. His message is simple but powerful: you don’t have to give up hope, and you don’t have to stop chasing what lights you up. 
I’m thrilled to have him here today to talk about resilience, mindset, and what it really means to redefine what’s possible and to spread hope!

One Lung but Plenty of Hope - Greg Gerardy

This is part one of two!
Today’s guest is someone who embodies grit, resilience, and the absolute refusal to accept limitations. Greg Gerardy is a cancer survivor, a father, and an endurance athlete who has accomplished what most people with two lungs will never attempt. After losing the function of his right lung to a rare, aggressive tumor that wrapped around his spine and shoulder, doctors told Greg he only had a few years to live and would eventually lose the use of his limbs becoming a paraplegic resulting in death after his body finally shuts down. But he proved them wrong—again and again.
Greg has climbed Mount Kilimanjaro, completed multiple marathons, including the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon, and even became one of only two people ever to finish an Ironman Triathlon with one functional lung. He has literally died on the table and was brought back to life.
Greg's story has been featured across Oklahoma media as he continues to push boundaries, most recently being among the first two people with one lung-alongside his friend Sean to not only try but to successfully complete and cross the finish line together-The Great World Race: seven marathons, in seven days, on seven continents. 
Beyond the races, Greg shares his journey to inspire others who feel stuck, discouraged, or written off. His message is simple but powerful: you don’t have to give up hope, and you don’t have to stop chasing what lights you up. 
I’m thrilled to have him here today to talk about resilience, mindset, and what it really means to redefine what’s possible.
Daily Oklahoman
KFOR 2Wra024
Survivor.net
Cancer Survivor with 1 Lung Runs His 5th Marathon
7 on 7 in 7
Facebook
Instagram
One Breath 
Why Not a Lung Transplant?  

Who are you without the trophy? Accomplishments - Jessie Brodmerkel

Episode on Accomplishment
A — Accomplishment
“Accomplishment is about becoming someone you’re proud of, not just someone who wins.”
Teach athletes to set layered goals: daily, weekly, seasonal. Go back to Kaizen moments.
Celebrate progress, not just outcomes.
Track personal bests to build internal motivation.
Reinforce that accomplishment includes character growth, not just stats.
A — Accomplishment Check List/Journal Prompts
For Teen Athletes
Did I set and complete a small goal today?
Did I track progress toward a larger goal?
Did I recognize improvement, even if it was small?
Did I celebrate a character win (patience, grit, leadership)?
For Parents
Did I celebrate progress, not perfection?
Did I help my teen set realistic, layered goals?
Did I acknowledge their growth outside of stats or scores?
Did I reinforce that accomplishment includes who they are becoming?
 
 
Car Convo Talking Points:
What did you achieve today, both big and small?
How does this accomplishment bring you closer to fulfilling your Ikigai?
What’s one accomplishment you’re proud of?
 
How Coaches and Parents Can Use PERMA Together
Create shared language: “What was your engagement moment today?”
Encourage parents to praise effort and attitude, not just performance.
Use PERMA check-ins during car rides, team meetings, or recovery days.
 
What Teen Athletes Say When PERMA Is Working
“I feel more confident.”
“I’m not as stressed.”
“I actually enjoy practice again.”
“I feel like I belong.”
These are the outcomes that keep kids in sports longer — and healthier.
 
Wrap-Up Message for the Episode
“PERMA isn’t another thing to add to training — it’s the foundation that makes training meaningful. When teen athletes feel positive, engaged, connected, purposeful, and accomplished, they don’t just perform better. They become better humans.”
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